one two three fourrrrnication!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize