nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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