That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
