I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize