Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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