You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
