I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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