I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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