Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
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I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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