I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I could fuck to npr.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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