Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
