She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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