i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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