he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
