she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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