I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
