That's when you crack a 10am beer
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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