you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
