I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
