So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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