Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What drink are we having for lunch?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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