Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
