She said her name was "party"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
