i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
