fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
