Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize