he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Come on in and take your pants off
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