I think my vagina is haunted
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
