I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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