Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
