Buhtt sex?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
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Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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