I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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