There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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