I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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