With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
