Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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