There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
