sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
