Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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