found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
