I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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