My liver just broke up with me...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
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Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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