we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
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I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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