Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
