I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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