My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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