Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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