yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
