you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
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Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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