blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
