Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
