I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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