I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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