idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
