I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
