I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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